Teen Rivalry

Me to Young Will:  "Well, does he know that you are going out with her?"
Young Will to Me:  "Yeah, Mom, he's not dead."

Compartmentalizing those Pesky Thoughts

In an attempt to keep my Mac organized, and mind clutter-free, I drag unwanted files into the trash bin regularly.  They are out of sight, out of mind.  I never, however, empty the trash.  There may be some remote need for the file in the future, I think.  Today, with some anxiety, I ceremoniously emptied the trash.  Even if I wanted to revisit something, I can't.  It's gone.  From now on, I'm moving all of those unnecessary, pesky and negative thoughts, which can sometimes consume my day, into the trash.  Then, immediately, I'm going to empty the trash.  Gone.  I just can't think that thought any more.  Gone.       

Compartmentalize: An Easy Way to Deal With All that Stuff in Your Brain

After reading a post from a fellow blogger, friend and vineyard enthusiast, Joan, over at MV Obsession, I have become intrigued with the concept of compartmentalizing.  I remember someone once said that President Bill Clinton had a unique and skilled gift of being able to compartmentalize his life.  Joan wrote a post about an author she met on the street in NYC recently.  The book, to be released March 2nd is called, The Nine Rooms of Happiness: Loving Yourself, Finding Your Purpose, and Getting Over Life's Little Imperfections.  Since reading the little bit about the book on Joan's blog, I've created and labeled my own nine rooms, and have been sorting my thoughts accordingly.  It's a curious and effective exercise in letting stuff go!  

Don't Be A Passive Participant in Life This Year

Keep the optimism and hope of the new year by exercising and practicing the discipline of positive thinking each day.  Our relationships can have a major impact on our positive thinking.  For this reason, make it a goal this year to work on your most important relationships.  At the heart of successful and rewarding relationships is the ability to effectively communicate.  From my experience, effective communication entails a few basic goals for constructive confrontation and conflict resolution:

a) Convey the truth

b) Listen

c) Preserve the relationship

Passive participation in any relationship leads to dissatisfaction.  Passive participation is helplessness.  Helplessness is a lack of control.  Lack of control in any situation leads to dissatisfaction.  You can avoid dissatisfaction in your life this year.

That Was Then, This Is Now

The new year always brings such optimism and hope to individuals resolved to improve their lives.  On any given day, one of my favorite sappy sayings to the teen blogson is, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."  He absolutely hates it when I say that, and we have a good laugh, and then I say it's true.  Just recently, I have taken on a new favorite expression: "That was then, this is now."  People really do get stuck in a pattern of thinking and behaviors.  If everyone just took a look around at their patterns, habits, motivations and interactions, and said, "That was then, this is now", the fallibility of pride takes on a new perspective and a definitive course.  Those six little words provide a liberating excuse to act differently, and totally reinvent the present with an open mind to the possibility that people or things have changed, and our thinking needs to change, too.  On the other hand, perhaps changes have not occurred.  Our views can still change, and by changing our views, we can change people and things.  The power of six little words can dramatically improve our new year!  Try it.

Sisterly Love: Sometimes Overrated

At a shower on Saturday, my table of eight women marveled at the close relationship between the bride and her sister. A lively debate ensued on the merits of sisterhood. All the women in the group had at least one sister, and others, like myself, had as many as three sisters. Arguably, sisters are often the most important relationship in a woman's life, outside of parent/child (hope the husbands aren't reading) but sentiments varied widely depending on if the woman had only one sister or more than one sister. Women with one sister seemed to be far more attached to the relationship than those with multiple sisters. Despite the closeness among sisters, it appears that vying for the mother's attention still plays a big role in adult sibling relationships. Curious, indeed.

Zebra Mentality

The blogson was telling us about an assembly at the high school yesterday. A fellow by the name of Michael Fowlin gave a powerful presentation about discrimination, and not just racial discrimination. He spoke of all types of discrimination, such as that among cliques at school, left-handed kids, family members, and even friends. The presentation was about how people, in this case, mostly teens, ostracize, alienate, and double-cross each other in order to be accepted. The pain of the injustice is sometimes just too much for people to take, and teens particularly, have difficulty managing these emotions. The speaker went on to graphically illustrate the grave and sad consequences for some people who carry the burdens of discrimination. Mr. Fowlin spoke about the sorry-ass people who just stand-by and watch bad behaviors and alienation in action. He called this the zebra mentality. “Bullies are not the problem,” he says, “Zebras are the problem. They’re beautiful creatures, but when one zebra is attacked by a lion, the others watch. They see these things happening and might feel bad about it, but they don’t do anything." The blogson enjoyed the hour presentation, but casually summed it up in one sentence, "People just need to do the right thing."

Keep 'Em Busy, Keep 'Em Broke

Good mantra for any parent of teens.

The More They Talk, The More They Like You

With so many people looking for employment these days, just remember this little tidbit of human nature on your next interview: The more they talk, the more they like you.