St. Patrick's Day 2019

St. Paddy's Day was always a busy weekend for my large Irish family. Back in the day, there was Irish dancing, bagpiping, drumming, an iconic green river, parade appearances and plenty of eating and drinking with family and friends over the course of many local celebrations in Chicago. Our parents and grandparents instilled a great pride in our heritage and we pursued lessons in Irish music and dance for most of our young lives, with St. Paddy's Day presenting some of the best opportunities for showcasing our talents. That was many years ago. Now, I liken St. Patrick's Day to New Year's Eve: festive and preferably enjoyed at home.

I was folding clothes this week on my bed and when I put the last of the laundry away, a lone shamrock was left under the pile. It had been an unusually sad day for me, and the sight of this green clover made me believe in miracles. I was overwhelmed with comfort and at a complete loss to understand where this may have come from. Although, as an intuitive Irish lass, I have my suspicions. May you find something special to cuddle your soul today and bring you outright awe and joy.

Unexplainable shamrock on my bed

When Your Ex is Everywhere You Want to Be

One of the hardest aspects of living in a blended family is sharing. There are only so many special occasions and milestones to go around in a family. Divvying up family time for children of divorced parents becomes quite challenging. This is especially true when one parent has extreme emotional needs and few venues for joy in life outside of the children and grandchildren.

A needy parent essentially sabotages their child's relationships with anyone else who wants to be a part of that life; such as spouses, in-laws, exes, steps and maybe even friends.  An adult child must feel enormous guilt and grief as they repeatedly accommodate a dominating parent.

Take heart, underdogs, patience is a virtue. It's human nature to grow resentful when burdened by uncontrollable obligations.

In the name of love, the mature and gracious will reconcile their disadvantaged position in the blended family, and appreciate what little family time is relegated to them. The kids will appreciate the respect shown to them.

Hang in there... be happy... and thank God you have venues for joy outside your children's lives. All good relationships are luxuries, not necessities.